Many of you already know about the pound shops, Poundland, Pound stretchers etc. What about the bigger shops? I’ve looked around many ‘new’ shops selling cheaper than retail price stock. How do they do it?
Well in my view, they don’t.
I actually believe that shops don’t sell these items for as cheap as you think they do. If you look at the labels, they’re often saying reduced from £199 to £99, or RRP £49.99 our price £29.99 so you read that and go, wow that’s a great saving. but is it?
The market for these items I don’t believe is that great. There’s no mass hysteria for toasters, or kettles, or blenders. You can buy them anywhere. When these shops that sell things for cheaper than the label states it should be, are having a sale in not-in-demand items at a way lower price, I get wary. Because I believe that the lower price is actually what the item is worth, and that’s what the company wants to sell it for. So, they mark it at a higher price on the labels, and then, they ‘sale’ the item at a lower price (the actual price they want) and you think you’ve got a bargain.
No blender is worth over £100, unless it’s made with rare parts that other machines don’t have. Why spend £100 on something if you can go to Argos and get the same thing for £20? what can a £100 blender do that a £20 one can’t? they blend food, that’s their sole use. Different speed settings for different food types, a plug-in base, a whirring sharp blade, a jug with handle that slots onto the base and a lid that seals. What else does a blender need.
All appliances are made from the same mechanisms, wires, cables, computer chips and paint. They’re just boxed by different companies who charge different prices. Your £30 Argos toaster is made the same way that the Morphy Richards toaster is made, but they want £65 for theirs because of their brand name.
These companies that sell these items at silly lower prices are selling the stock that doesn’t sell in the shops elsewhere at the higher mark-up and are reducing the price to make you think you have a deal because the items didn’t sell to the mugs paying a higher price.
I play a game on my pc called ‘Roller Coaster Tycoon’ and I love it. I get to set the ride prices, the food prices etc. I start off with a big coaster at £6 a ride and the queues are long, and I make a bunch of pixel money. It’s fun. But pretty soon in the game people start not wanting to pay that much to ride that coaster, so I have to reduce the price. Then as the game progresses the price for that ride gradually gets lower until it’s gone from being £6pppr to £1.50 pppr. It’s still making a profit, but not as much as it was and when people stop going on it at the lower price, I sell the ride for whatever money the game programming gives me.
It’s the same with these types of shop. The items don’t sell at the higher end of the price scale, so they ‘reduce’ the price to sell more stock because the buyer thinks they’re getting a great deal. Pretty soon the item is available in charity shops for £5 but nobody wants second hand because new is only £10.
So the next time you think your £30 half price brand name toaster/kettle/blender or whatever is a great deal, think to yourself, is it really?
There seems to be a rising trend in badly behaved teenagers in recent years. The National Statistics in teenager related crime seemingly has risen. I’m hearing things on the news daily. The https://www.gov.uk/…/announcements/youth-justice-statistics-2021-to-2022 says that crime has dropped, but I don’t entirely believe that.
If you don’t want your teenagers behaving badly, having messy bedrooms, not helping around the house, getting arrested and bullying others then you need to nip that in the bud ASAP when they’re toddlers. It’s really simple to understand. Children do learned behaviour. If they see you smoking drugs, they’ll think it’s normal and go out to smoke drugs. If they see you getting drunk every weekend, they’ll think it’s normal and go out drinking, but it’ll be worse than how drunk you get. They’ll have peer pressure to deal with, which will likely result in them ending up in hospital with alcohol poisoning. Or possibly dead.
Children learn by what they see, not just what they are taught. ‘‘Do As I Say, Not As I Do” is no longer relevant in today’s society. Being a hypocrite in your parenting will only result in confused and angry teenagers who don’t respect you or understand how to behave.
If you are bullying other people, being rude or otherwise horrible to people- your children will grow up to do the same exact things, because you, their parent, have taught them that that’s how to behave. If you scream racist abuse, or derogatory words at people then your children will grow up to be racists. Adults are supposed to teach their children right from wrong, to nurture them, help them to become better adults than their parents are. Parents are not supposed to drag up horrible bullying little cretins who don’t care about anything or anyone.
If you grew up in a household where horrible behaviour was prevalent, I feel for you. But that doesn’t mean you should bring your children up the same way. If you understand and recognise that the behaviour you saw from your parents isn’t normal, then you need to break the mould. There are plenty of options for help to make sure that you don’t follow the same routes. Please seek them out.
Teaching Them Young.
When babies are born, they’re basically a completely blank canvass. They literally know nothing. They know how to breath, cry, suck, poop and pee. That’s it. It’s all already learnt because that’s what they need to be able to do when they’re born in order to survive, with the loving help from their parents. You, the parent, have to teach them to talk, to walk, to use the toilet, to use a spoon, to dress, read, write, spell, and all of the other usual things that children get taught and learn by doing and watching.
What they don’t learn automatically is how to clean up after themselves, how to behave in a normal socially acceptable manner, how to put away their own toys, manners, to take their plates out after dinner or how to share. We as their loving parents have to teach them those things, and everything else necessary for a good and productive life. If you aren’t tidying up from playtime until the toddler is in bed,they aren’t learning how to tidy up because you are doing it for them. If you don’t do the housework while they are awake or at home in your presence, then they won’t see you doing it, and won’t understand when they’re a bit older that it’s something that just has to be done and it’s not just down to the mum to keep the house clean.
If you get them involved in tidying up their own toys before bed, get them to help you put away their clothes, let them stand on the stool to ‘help’ you wash up, or get them their own mini broom to ‘help’ you sweep the floors then they’ll grow up to be teenagers that automatically do those things because it’s been just what they do for their whole life.
Trying to teach people new things is not easy. Have you tried to teach an older person how their iPhone works? it’s pretty much the same thing with teenagers. If they haven’t been taught the basics of self-care and house care when they’re young, trying to get them to do anything once they’re 12 is not going to go very well for you or them. They’ll see you as the person who does everything, and you always have done. So why should they suddenly start helping you do it? The excuse of ‘You’re old enough to understand now’ is irrelevant. They’re old enough to understand when they’re toddlers. It becomes learned behaviour, because they’ve been taught how to do it from a young enough age that you don’t get attitude, or arguments or slamming doors.
It’s even easier to teach toddlers because they’re a blank slate, whereas teenagers already think they know everything.
Some children have additional needs that makes learning extra fun! It takes more patience than normal, lots of repetitive actions and repeat phrases, and you’ll need a strong coffee at the end of the day. But it’s necessary for their life and their survival.
If children grow up unable to keep their homes clean, or look after their children properly, or they don’t know how to budget their money then their adult life is going to be a mess of social services, homelessness, loss of custody, drugs or alcohol abuse, and generally struggling to live every day. They might even end up in prison because they weren’t taught how to behave and got arrested too many times.
I’m horrified at the state of some of the homes I see. One of my neighbours has a house with an overgrown garden that is covered in old furniture, broken toys, dog poop and bike parts. She posts pictures to her social media of her little children, and you can see the piles of paperwork and random junk, old plates, stained carpet, general grub of her house in the background. I know she has a supportive bunch of friends and family, why on earth has nobody said she needs to sort it out?! Messy homes like this get children removed from their homes, it’s unsanitary, dangerous and unsightly. I don’t know her background, or her life story, so I don’t know why they choose to live like that, but I can guess it’s because she hasn’t been taught how to run a house properly.
My mother’s house was always clean, everything was put away. ”A place for everything, and everything in its place” piles of random junk in corners, on units or under furniture just leads to dirt and bacteria everywhere because you can’t clean it because there’s too much stuff in the way.
Children who are taught to keep their home clean from a young age will have clean homes when they become adults.
Anti-Social Behaviour
Teenagers involved in crimes -from bullying to murder- stems from poor upbringing, peer pressure, influences from films, tv and music and the behaviour they see at home from the adults in their lives. Not being properly disciplined for bad behaviour leads to more bad behaviour. If your child is hitting, slapping, punching, biting, kicking or pushing anyone you need to stop them and explain it’s wrong. You as the parent are responsible for your child learning that that behaviour is not acceptable, and it will result in punishment if they carry on.
If they’re beating on the family pet they need stopping, animal abuse is not cute. It just teaches the toddler that they can do what they please because it’s just an animal and it doesn’t have feelings. Tell that to the children who got attacked by their dogs because they were treating it badly and it snapped. Punishing bad behaviour with the proper consequences will help you to raise well behaved, well-mannered teenagers.
Well adjusted, happy, nice teenagers are the result of parents who use the appropriate punishments for bad behaviour. Who don’t allow their children to watch things they aren’t old enough watch, and who explain that the lyrics to that song are just words being written by a person and not a lesson on how to behave. Just because they see a fight in a film, doesn’t mean they should go out and fight people. If someone ‘disses’ your girlfriend, and you beat them up, beating them up makes you the bad person not them. All they did was call her a name, so what. You’ve broken the law by beating that person up, that’s assault, you get arrested for things like that. The police don’t care that he insulted your girlfriend, they’ll tell you that you should have just ignored it and walked away because that’s what well-adjusted adults do. Your parents should have been teaching you that hitting is naughty from the first time you did it.
Teenagers hanging around street corners, harassing strangers and generally being a nuisance are the product of parents kicking their young primary age children out to ‘play’ from early morning till dusk every day. They aren’t supervised, they aren’t being monitored, they’re copying their friend’s behaviour so they can ‘fit in’ and be ‘popular’. It doesn’t matter if the behaviour is bad, the children will do what they like because there’s no adults around to keep them in check. They haven’t been taught how to behave as toddlers before they’re let loose on the streets when they’re old enough. It results in anti-social behaviour, wasted police time in having to come out to deal with children instead of doing real police work and arresting actual criminals. Naming and shaming pictures posted on social media from resident’s who are sick of the same horrible behaviour in their area every day are becoming the norm. I see them daily.
”These children thought it was funny to throw rocks at my car this morning” Posted a lady on a Facebook group I’m in, last week.
”These children were seen taunting a young mum as she pushed her baby in the pram and throwing pebbles at her” posted a different lady a day later, in the same group.
Now, kudos to her, the children’s mum saw that last one, and had commented that she was horrified at her children’s behaviour and will be having words. So, I hope that’s them taught how to behave in public.
Naming and Shaming on FB.
People argue that it’s wrong to post pictures of children on fb. I don’t see an issue. Parents aren’t going to know what their children are getting up to if nobody shows them.
The behaviour that you see now that looks harmless enough – knock down ginger, for example – could lead to attempted burglary or burglary if they knock and the door isn’t locked/is ajar and swings open. They could be knocking on the door of a PTSD sufferer and they’ve just put their recovery three months behind. Those children harmlessly having fun by randomly banging on people’s doors, like there’s a big emergency, could cause someone to have a heart attack with panic. You could be seeing the last minutes of a DV survivors’ life if she thinks that her abuser has found her, and the only way out is to die. You have absolutely no idea what is going on behind that door. It could just be a family tired from the day, relaxing in the evening and suddenly someone is pounding on their door like their house is on fire!
Children will do what children do, they don’t think about safety, or consequences to their actions or anything. We as the adults need to be aware that badly behaved children are the result of lots of things, including their lack of parenting. I’ve had angry PMs from two parents who had the audacity to shout at me, when I saw their children sitting on the roof of a block of flats and took a picture and posted it to social media to show the parents what their stupid children are doing. I didn’t know whose children they were, it was a long zoom in. But they knew. And now, the local council are aware of what the children around here are doing and are hopefully taking measures to combat it. If I had told them in person, the children would have lied about it. They can’t argue with pictures.
I told those parents that if they didn’t want their children’s faces all over fb then they’d better start bringing them up properly and teaching them how to behave. Bad behaviour gets you named and shamed, because people are getting sick and tired of dealing with the fall-out from other people’s lack of parenting.
Adults are also named and shamed on fb. You would have thought that as adults, they realise that someone is always watching. There’s always a camera or CCTV catching you behaving badly, YOU WILL end up on social media. Those adults are previously badly behaved teenagers.
”does anyone know this person?” This person stole from a small business.
”They stole our charity donation box from the til” This person brazenly walked into a shop, waited until nobody was watching them, and ran off with the box. CCTV caught them. That image was posted to FB.
If you don’t want to get arrested for breaking the law, then don’t break the law!
Everyone is Different, and That’s OK.
If we were all meant to look the same, then we’d all be born the same colour, same hair colour, eye colour, body size and shape. We’re not. Because we are not supposed to look the same. Even animals look different to each other. My corn snake does not look the same as my friend’s corn snake. Why should I have to look like her, or anyone else?
The media has a lot to answer for in what people believe how people should look. You’re supposed to be a size 10, big boobs, big lips, long glossy hair, only wear black leggings and black tops and have your hair in a top bun. You’re supposed to wear named brand everything, and bully those who don’t. According to the media, women aren’t allowed to be overweight. We’re not entitled to wear clothes that fit, to wear tracksuits and swimming costumes despite what size our bodies are. Because the media has drummed it into other women that we’re abnormal. We’re something they can bully and tease and make fun of. Children who are born with defects are bullied by children of parents who are also bullies.
Everyone is different. Nobody has the right to tell you how you should look, what you should wear, whether you’re fat or harass you simply because you look different. The sooner people realise that the better the world will be.
Don’t bring your children up to bully and harass people because they’re different. What’s it to you if little Joe in class is wearing hand-me-down’s? does it impact your life in any way? does it stop you from living your life, or stop your children from learning? no, it doesn’t. So what if that person has tattoos, is overweight, is wearing brightly coloured clothes. SO, WHAT! It doesn’t impact you, so don’t be a bully about it and mind your own business. It just makes you look jealous if you’re trying to belittle someone who dares to be themselves and not care what people think. You look like a sad person with no life outside of harassing and bullying strangers for no reason. If you have issues with how other people look, maybe you need to go and talk to someone about the issues in your own life that makes you so against complete strangers and what they look like. Because it’s not normal to behave like that.
Teaching your children that everyone is different, and that’s ok – will enable them to grow up and not care about what other people look like.
In Short, Teach Them Right, Right from The Start.
It’s not up to anyone else to parent your children. If you want well mannered, well adjusted, independent, helpful, kind, and caring teenagers (and adults) then you have to teach them how to be that way. If you don’t want your badly behaving children posted all over FB then teach them how to behave in public. If you don’t want your children arrested at every turn, in jail, losing custody of your grandchildren, becoming homeless, or worse ending up dead far too early, then do the right thing and start teaching them from the minute they’re old enough to understand and follow your instructions.
You don’t want your children to grow up, and end up on Crimewatch, do you?
I’m not very good at keeping in touch with people. It’s because I see myself as a bother, so why would I inflict my bothersome self on others just to say hi? If they’re busy, how do I know? have I just messaged them in the middle of something important? are they driving or dealing with a poorly child? and let me tell you if you don’t already know, poorly children are NOT fun. The last thing I want to be doing is messaging someone with ”Hi. How’s your day going?” when they’re in the middle of mopping up vomit.
I keep saying to people, message me. I’ll read it when I get to it. If it’s important, then call me. Because nobody ever calls people nowadays, even your internet provider can be reached in an online chat service and your prescriptions can be arranged online, along with delivery. So, I know that if my phone is ringing, something is wrong. Every time I see my mother calling me – ”Hello, what’s wrong?” she never contacts me. If she is someone’s died.
In the last five years, four friends have died. Do you know what? That sucks. It really does, because they weren’t even old. They all died from illnesses. One had Emphysema, one had breast cancer, one died of organ failure, and the other also had cancer. I have no right to be sad at their passing, even though I was close friends with two of those four people at one point in our lives.
What was our last conversation? Me, floundering, wondering what to say. How do you reply to ”Yeah, it’s difficult to do things now, I have cancer”. WHAT DO YOU SAY TO THAT?! Suddenly, my children being little assholes isn’t important. I can’t say ”Oh, yeah, well. We’re going to the pub Friday night do you want to come?” can I? because that’s what I was messaging her about. The answer will clearly be no. I didn’t reply. I DIDN’T REPLY. This poor woman, who had children the same age as mine, who was only a year younger than me, who was my only friend at secondary school, whose house I went around often, who I hung around with in the summer holidays, has cancer. It’s stage 4, she’s dying. What do I do? I DON’T FUCKING REPLY! That’s what I did. I found out a few months later that she was on end-of-life care, and within three days she was dead. I had years to talk to her. I had months when I found out she was ill. I DiDn’T RePLy!! so I have no rights to be sad that she’s dead. But I am sad.
I’m sad about all of the missed opportunities to talk to her. I miss the opportunity to ask about her children. I miss remembering the good days as her friend. I can’t tap open messenger and type ‘Hey Kerry, how’s things?’ because messenger isn’t available in heaven yet.
Today is Monday. On Thursday last week I went to the funeral of another close friend. I’ve known this guy since I was thirteen. That’s a long time. He was 44. He died of organ failure in hospital. He died, and I didn’t find out until five weeks later, when his Aunt found me on his fb profile under ‘family member – sister’. Best bet I’m trying not to cry as I’m typing this.
He still saw me as his little sister, after I moved eighty miles away and hadn’t spoken to him in two years before he died. I went back through messenger this morning, just to look. How bad is that? I couldn’t even remember the last time I spoke to this man.
From what I learnt at his funeral; he was really struggling with life. Had turned to drink, gotten help, tried to turn his life around. He’d moved homes. I didn’t know any of it. This man, who helped me when nobody else did, saw the good in me and never gave up, was nothing but loyal and kind and generous, had taken to drink and I didn’t know. Our last conversation was over a span of a few days, as I ignored his messages and replied sparingly. Simply because I was likely busy and would get back to him later.
Now, there is no later. He’s gone. I don’t get to see that huge grin; I don’t get to hear his favourite saying- ‘wasssuuupppppp!!’ anymore. I don’t get to hug him. I feel like shit. I have no rights to be crying over this man’s death, because I failed as a friend. He would never have failed me.
My message to you, don’t wait. If someone messages, you then reply asap. Even if you have to say you’re really sorry you’re busy right now, message me later. Don’t wait until it’s too late.
Let’s start with what the word nice means; pleasant, satisfactory. Got it?
It’s a term used to describe something you like, that is appealing to you, or that you admire. People say ‘Noice’ in an NYC accent if something is particularly nice, but nice might be the wrong word in some instances. Maybe words like ‘beautiful’ or ‘gorgeous’ might be more fitting because nice just seems so flat and boring. That’s the go-to word for husbands everywhere when their wife is on the third outfit in an hour and they’ve been ready to leave for the last two. ‘Yes love you look nice. Can we go now?’ maybe if he’d said beautiful instead, it would have worked out quicker for them?
‘Nice’ is such a simple word. It’s easily thrown around. It can’t be confused with its meaning in any conversation. It’s a cute little word that means a lot more than just ‘nice’. It could be that the person using the word is saying ‘nice’ because he feels embarassed to use anything else, and nice has become socially acceptable. Maybe the person saying nice really means ‘Oh my goodness you look amazing!’ but he can’t say it because he’s been conditioned by society to just say ‘yeah you look nice, innit’
Being nice is deeper than just using the word.
Being nice is to say ‘hello love, you look great today’ or ‘Let me know when you get home?’ It’s the little things that you do that make other people feel better, or smile or cheer up a little. It’s nice to say hi to the cashier, you don’t know if she’s had dealings with grumpy rude customers, or if she’s at the end of a long eight hour shift and is done with the day. Saying please and thank you is nice.
Nice is keeping your mouth shut if you don’t like somebody. Because we’re all just trying to survive in this horrible world, and there will be monsters on your path. But we don’t have to be mean to get past them. We don’t have to lower ourselves to the name calling and bad behaviour aimed at us by not nice people. We can just say ‘May you get an itchy arsehole and your arms be to short to scratch’ and smile sweetly while you walk away. Likely leaving them in a pile of their own confusion while they try to work out what you’ve just said.
It doesn’t cost a penny to be nice to people. Manners, respect and human decency are basic human rights for everyone. Nobody has the right to be horrible to another person for any reason. If you don’t get along with someone then you just ignore them and let them live their own life. It doesn’t concern you. Being nice sometimes means being the bigger person. You’re so nice you don’t want to throw horrible things back at the nasty person being vile towards you. It’s not your fault this person has issues and is taking them out on you. But don’t go being mean back. Carry on being nice. Video everything and open a case of harassment with the police with the evidence you gather. You’re being nice, by getting these vile people off of the streets or dealt with properly so they can leave you and everyone else alone.
Being nice is offering a lift to your neighbour if you see them and know they’re heading your way home.
Being nice is letting the older or infirm people onto the bus first.
Being nice is offering your children’s old clothes to a struggling mum.
Being nice is saying please and thank you to everyone for everything.
Being nice is using your ‘excuse me please’s and ‘than you’s’ if someone is in the way.
Being nice is basically being everything else except a horrible person.
If you can’t be nice, ask a friend (if you have any) why you’re struggling with being a decent human. They’ll tell you the truth as any friend should.
If you can’t be nice, keep your mouth shut and mind your business. Nobody else’ life has anything to do with you.
If you’re tired of being nice and getting used, or hurt then stop being nice to those people. Don’t stop being nice altogether. Don’t become someone you’re not because of users and abusers. They aren’t worth your energy or time. Brush them away and take out the trash. Move on.
Life is way more pleasant if you’re nice. I got offered a free dinner for me and my family because I was nice and helped a guy figure out his business plan. I got free yorkshire puddings with my shopping because the 15 pack I’d bought was substituted for a large singular one, (and I wasn’t rude about it) and the delivery guy was like, ‘oh well, these are just going to go in the bin. Would these do instead?’
It pays to be nice. You never know who people are in contact with and what they can do for you later down the line if you need help.
People are generally nice. But some aren’t. Don’t become dull and horrible because other people are. Carry on shining that torch of nice-ness. Hold it high and the nice people will find you.
Guys, if you’re lucky enough to have a female partner in your life then this guide is for you. Pay careful attention, it might just save your relationship. Especially if you’re a clueless dimwit who can’t use their own brain!
Step 1.
If your girlfriend is REALLY REALLY fucking excited about something, then you are also excited about that something. You don’t have to go all out, I don’t expect screaming hysterics that excited women tend to do. But, us women do expect more than a ‘Oh, yeah, great’ similar disinterested response. It’s telling us that you don’t care about our interests, or what we find exciting or fun in our lives. On a deeper level it’s basically saying that you don’t give a shit about anything unless it involves you, or what you like. It’s rude and disrespectful. If you both treat each other like this then end the relationship, because that’s toxic. If she shows interest in what you like- even if you know she’s not really interested- then go take a very long look in the mirror to try and figure out why you’re such a dick to her, but are somehow still in the relationship.
Step 2.
If you have to work late, or do something at short notice TELL HER!! It’s called common curtesy. It’s not asking permission like you’re a child. It’s respect for your family to let them know what’s going on. Women have this really clever skill where we know how long it takes you to get from one place to another, and if your drive from work takes 30 minutes and you finish work at 5pm, she’s expecting your key in the door by 5.45pm at the absolute latest. If you’re not in by 6pm, she’s beginning to wonder where you are, was traffic worse than usual? If you’re later than an hour she’s imaging a car wreck, fire and brimstone type shit. It’s made a lot worse if you don’t answer your phone. In this instance you’re basically telling her that you don’t value her, her feelings or her time. You’re telling her that you don’t care that she’s sitting at home with the children watching the clock and worrying herself ragged. Are you that much of an asshole to put the woman you purportedly love through that?
Step 3.
If your partner asks you very nicely to please go and have the shower that you desperately need, so the rest of the evening is yours once the children have gone to bed, just go and do it. Don’t sit on your phone playing games or watching YouTube for an hour before you decide to move. That’s an hour of wasted quality time with your partner that you won’t get back. That’s you deciding that whatever you’re doing on your phone is a lot more important than the woman you’re supposed to love. That’s just downright shitty behaviour, and no way to treat your girlfriend. Similarly, if you need a shave and you know it’s going to take a while to trim and tidy before you have a shower, you go and do it a little earlier to account for the time.
Step 4.
DO NOT EVER complain that the housework hasn’t been done, or the dish you need to cook with isn’t washed up, if YOU don’t actually do any of the housework! You both live in and cause the housework to need doing, so you are both responsible for keeping your home clean. I just can’t understand that in 2021 men are STILL expecting their partners to do all of the chores! Get a grip. If you can see that the washing up hasn’t been done and you need to use something, just do the fucxking washing up, dickhead! Don’t just wash up that one thing, make it dirty again and put it back in the sink. How selfish are you to treat your girlfriend or wife like your personal slave?! If you both work, then neither of you have the monopoly on tiredness. Nobody is better than the other. The housework doesn’t care who does it, us as a society don’t care who does the chores. Just fucking do the damn housework, you lazy idiot.
Step 5.
Use your own brain. She’s not your bloody mother! She’s not responsible for your personal possessions, your wardrobe choices, your wallet/keys/phone/bag, or what you have for lunch. She shouldn’t have to tell you when to have a wash, or grant permission for you to have a coffee or a sandwich. You don’t have to ask permission to see your friends, or to go to the pub. You just have to let her know that’s what you’re doing so she doesn’t worry if you’re supposed to be somewhere else and you’re not. She’s NOT YOUR BLOODY MOTHER! If you want to eat at 10 pm, then go and bloody eat. Just be sure to ask her if she want’s anything while you’re doing it. Because I can bet you that she asks you every single time. If you’ve put your wallet down and can’t find it, screaming ‘Where’s my wallet’ at your partner will not make it appear like magic, looking for it will. Use your brain to work out what you might have done with it, you’re not five years old and can’t find your shoes! Stop treating your wife like your mother. We aren’t here for men to still be toddlers when they’re in their 40’s. We expect you to have your shit together and to be a fully functioning member of society. We expect you to make your own decisions, be your own person without having to rely on us women to decide every aspect of your life for you because you’re incapable of using your own brain.
This list is universal to all relationships. I don’t give a flying pigs arse who you are or where you’re from, if you’re in a committed loving relationship then start acting like you actually want to be in it. Because if she finally gets sick of your shit, someone else will take your place and you, my friend, will be miserable knowing that you couldn’t pull your finger out to be better and to keep her.
I don’t pretend to know anything about anything, really. I’m not a very smart cookie, and that’s fine with me. But one thing I do know for certain, is that charity shopping is the way forward.
Yes, I understand that it’s not as convenient as Googling what you want and buying it from that Famous River, or the Bay of E, and I understand that it’s a lot of leg work, and searching- rummaging through wire baskets and racks; dealing with people. But hear me out. Us as race spent so much money on The Famous River site that we sent Bezos to the bloody moon!! literally. How crazy stupid is that?! The little business doesn’t get a look in. They’re all shutting up shop for good, because nobody is buying from their websites because the Famous River is cheaper.
Charities suffered awfully during the pandemic. They’ll have more trouble coming back from it than most places, simply because charity shopping isn’t as popular as brand new shopping. You’re more likely to find a queue outside of Primarnie or New Looker than you are outside of The British Heart Foundation or Cancer Research. Tell me, what’s the issue with charity shops?
Yes, it might have been worn by someone else before you. But you wear your clothes again and again, don’t you? You borrow your boyfriend’s shirt, or joggers or his hoodie, don’t you? do they suffer any issues with wear and tear? are they diseased and unwearable more than once? No, absolutely not. Yes, you might know the person who’s wearing it, and their bodily hygiene regiment, but I can absolutely 100% guarantee you that charity shops do not sell junk clothing. You might find a certain type of charity shop that just doesn’t seem to care what they’re selling. They look like junk shops from the outside, but if a donation bag comes in and it’s filled with smelly or ruined clothing then it goes in the bin. You might find clothing in those types of shop that have a tiny stain, or a missing button or maybe cat hair, or otherwise be slightly not new condition. But that doesn’t mean you can’t wear it again. Take it home, wash and mend it, voila! But shops like this aren’t the norm. The vast majority of charity shops only sell clothing in tip top almost brand new condition. Shops like Shelter are the classier side to charity shops, with price tags from £3.99 for a blouse and upwards of £5 for trousers or jeans. But Cancer Research is everything for £1 and you’ll still find pretty decent items in there. No charity shop sells ripped, stained, or otherwise unwearable items of clothing. It just doesn’t happen.
If you wash it before you wear it, where’s the issue?
You might have to visit several shops a lot of times before you find what you’re looking for. It’s definitely not a catalogue that you can choose from and have delivered to store. You can only buy what people have donated. So there’s little no choice if you’re looking for Louie Vuitton. But, you’ll find antiques, things from your childhood, treasures that you desperately need in your home, or sometimes even really rare and valuable things because the shop didn’t realise what it was. I found a silver watch worth £250 that I paid £5 for. Yes, really.
Charity shops do not deserve the stigma that surrounds them. They’re all run by volunteers. They don’t get any funding. They need your support just as much as everyone else in this current climate.
When the shops were shut, and people were taking to Facebook marketplace to buy clothing and shoes, they were still only looking for brand new. It’s Facebook, if you’re looking to buy on marketplace then be prepared to get second hand. Or have to pay brand new prices. Nobody is going to sell you their brand new £50 trainers that they bought on the Bay of E, that aren’t the right size, for less than they paid. That’s absolutely crazy! Of course they want their full price back, so they can get trainers in the right size.
I was expecting marketplace to be booming with trade during the lockdown. I personally have three 60litre boxes full of second hand children’s clothing that I’m trying to shift, that I was expecting to fly out of the door. Simply because people were posting in selling groups about needing clothes for their children but all of the shops were shut. Did I sell anything, no. So, even in times of crisis when there’s literally no way to buy brand new, people are still taking a punt on buying new online, and praying that it fits and that what arrives in the post is what was advertised. It beggars belief. Because when it doesn’t, you either have to list it to sell online at what you paid, or take a price cut and lose money. Nobody has got money or time spare.
I had the idea for this blog quite by chance last week. I’m not entirely sure how to write it.
Saying thank you is using your manners. In any varying form it means the same thing; you’re grateful for something someone has done. There’s many different ways to say thank you; Ta, Cheers, Much Appreciated, Much Obliged, to name a few.
But how do you choose to use the different variations? Why does a bus driver warrant ‘Cheers mate’ but an elderly person receives a ‘Thank you’?
I think it has to do with more than just the manner of saying thank you. Saying thanks has become a throw away manner. It’s seemingly lost it’s meaning. Like you’re just going through the motions of using them because they’ve been ingrained into your upbringing. If you haven’t been brought up with people who taught you manners then it stands to reason that you don’t use them, unless you’ve mentally grown up and realised that not using them makes you a rude person. People who use manners each and every day, do so because it’s like breathing. It comes naturally. But, if you actually think about saying Thank You to someone, how do you say it and why?
This is what I believe these four different, but common, ways of saying thank you mean. (by ‘mean’ I don’t mean the dictionary definition. I mean in every day language and situations.)
Saying Fankoo is baby talk. It’s mainly used by people who are very familiar with each other. If a good friend has done something unexpectedly nice for you, or if your romantic partner has just surprised you with a cup of tea in bed, saying Fankoo is a cute and sweet way of showing your gratitude. You certainly wouldn’t say Fankoo to your boss, or to the server in the restaurant.
Saying Fanks, to me just seems empty and rude. Like you don’t really care about their help, but it’s polite to show gratitude. Like you have to say it because you might need their help again. It’s not even a proper word. You’re not even sincerely thanking the person properly. It’s like you don’t respect the person who’s just helped you out enough to use the proper words. It’s rude.
Saying Thanks is better than saying the first two I’ve listed, but it’s not great. Though at least you’re pronouncing the TH sound at the beginning of the word. Thanks is just one step up from Fanks. It means at least you’re respectful of the person who’s helped you. You’re using the proper pronunciation of the word because Fanks doesn’t seem right to you. Saying Thanks tells the helper that you were brought up with manners enough to say thank you, but as a quick throw away at home maybe, where not using them would get you into trouble. Using this term is still polite, but it’s not the epitome of manners.
Saying Thank You means a lot more than the other three. It’s not only using the phrase how it’s supposed to be meant, (I thank you) it’s taking the time to use the proper pronunciation, and saying the proper words. It means more because it’s not a throw away, it’s not mispronounced, it’s not rude. Using Thank you instead of thanks means that you took the extra time to use your manners how they were intended. Saying Thank You weighs a lot more if you’re looking at the person as you say Thank You. That is using your manners to actually properly say thank you and to mean it genuinely, rather than just going through the manners motions.
I make sure to say Thanks or Thank you to everyone who does a service towards me, be it the bus driver, the server, the man who gives me his seat, my brother for the cup of tea or my children for helping with the house work. But that’s just me.
Everyone should have, and use, their manners. They’re free after all, and they could really help brighten someone’s day if they’ve been dealing with rude or otherwise horrible people. Nobody should think they’re above saying thanks to someone for their help, because we’re all equal. You’re not better than the restaurant server because you earn more money than them, so why be rude about it and not use your manners? That just makes you a rude and horrible person, and the people who use their manners are better than you by default.
Valentine’s Day has just been and gone. My Facebook news feed was full of lovey dovey posts etc, which I’ve come to expect. This morning, an old school friend of mine posted up some new pictures of her Valentines day lunch. Nothing odd about that, you say, of course there’s not. My post is about the items that were on her table, not the cause for the items being on her table.
Now, it’s obvious that not everyone lives in the same size house. Mine is relatively small for a 3 bedroom, compared to my sister’s 3 bedroom in to which I could fit my living room and kitchen into just her living room! But the size of your home does determine how much storage space you have. We tend to grow into our homes.
My friend’s Valentine’s day post got me thinking; where do people store all of the random items they buy when celebrating special occasions? She had four heart patterned wine glasses, four heart shaped felt material coasters, a red table cloth, candles, place mats etc, all set up and looking marvellous on her dining table. It did look amazing. But, where is she going to store all of that now? Does she have random space in her kitchen cupboards for four new glasses? Can she store the coasters and place mats in a draw somewhere which is maybe empty? How do you live in a house for years and still have space for random accumulation, especially of items that you’ll maybe only use once a year?
I don’t have that much space at all anywhere, and recently had to have a clear out simply because I’d run out of space for the things I actually needed. We had to buy an extra kitchen corner shelf unit to house our cups and glasses, and a plate rack, to make space in my one double and two single wall cupboards for essentials like food stuffs. But, my sister’s house has enough kitchen cupboard space for 96 mugs and still room for plates, cups, glasses, vases etc.
I have to think long and hard about buying anything, because I don’t have the cupboard space to store it. I would have loved to buy a couple of cute heart shaped mugs and some candles, decorate my table with fake petals and other accoutrements etc, but, I literally don’t have anywhere to keep them afterwards. Now, I haven’t spoken to this particular friend in many years, but she posts lots of pictures, therefor I know her house isn’t that much bigger than mine. She might have had the same Valentine’s items for years and she uses them once a year as a tradition, therefor they already have a place to live somewhere? Like those sentimental value items that you find places for when you move in, because you aren’t getting rid of them due to lack of space. Other stuff be dammed. I own a few cups that are precious to me, so they have a safe spot in the back of my bigger single kitchen cupboard, the rest live out on the shelf unit we had to buy.
But really, what happens to all of the random accumulated items that are bought for that one special occasion a year? I certainly don’t have the money to buy things I’ll use once and then get rid of because I can’t store it. So why buy it?
Do people buy this stuff, shove it away somewhere and years later when they’ve run out of space decide to clear out and go ‘Ohh, I forgot I owned this’ and chuck it into the donation pile? Do they ever think, where will I use this again? Is this something I’ll make good use out of? I bought a £14 battery operated can opener last year, because my wrists are no longer up to the job of a manual one. It lives in my cutlery draw, which I had to clear out to make space for it. It’s used daily. But I don’t have the space for heart patterned glasses and placemats I’ll only use once, and I’m not getting rid of sentimental or useful items.
My main once a year decorations are Halloween and Christmas. Those decorations live in the loft and have been added-to over the years, so their storage boxes have evolved over time. You’re not likely to forget that you have those types of decorations, if they’re all kept in their places and used. But, random things like felt coasters and patterned glasses is just, useless, unless you’re planning on keeping them to re-use each year? and what happens to them afterwards, if you haven’t got anywhere to keep them until next year?
Charity shops receive so much in donations from Valentine’s and Easter holidays that they can make whole window displays and still have shelves full. Because people buy so much stuff for one holiday that they then can’t keep. It might look cute for the day, your photos are wonderful on FB. But in reality where is all of this random unnecessary accumulation going afterwards?
That’s something you’ll hear people say on occasion when you’re pregnant. It’s mostly true, if you look into the actual meaning of the phrase.
Most people assume that it means that you don’t need to pay bills, buy food or clothes or rent etc, and there’s a few arguments I’ve seen online of people trying to explain it to those who are assuming wrongly. Either that or they’re taking it literally and not seeing the bigger picture.
Here’s my take on The Unnecessary Expense of Babies, and Babies only need love.
Babies do indeed need love. All people the world over need love. It helps you to grow, be a good person, do good things. Babies especially need love because they’re helpless. That tiny little human being needs to be loved and cared for and nurtured, otherwise it will die, basically. Babies can’t look after themselves, obviously. They’re completely and utterly dependent on their parents’ love for them, for their well being. But, there’s love and then there’s throwing money in the form of love.
Babies do not need hundreds or thousands of pounds worth of stuff. They don’t need £600 cots, and Gap baby grows, or the latest model pram. That’s just for the parent’s to say look how much I love my child. You don’t love your child any less if you’re buying charity shop baby grows at 3 for £1, or a second hand buggy system from the local British Red Cross shop (other shops available)
Babies do not need organic or expensive baby food. They’re perfectly happy with jarred food, packet food, or home made mash and yogurts or pureed food from what you’re already cooking for dinner. That tiny person is just happy to be fed what it needs to live. It’s not a stroppy teenager who is refusing to eat dinner because it’s not organically harvested beef and £10 a bag of carrots from Harrods (you know exactly what I mean.)
Babies do not need Prada dresses, or Gucci tracksuits or Nike trainers. They grow so fast they’ll maybe wear it once before it’s outgrown. Then you’ve spent likely £100+ on something that you have to then either decide to keep (storage?) or try to sell and nobody is going to pay you what you originally bought it for, so you have to take a loss. Is it worth it? Probably not. The baby doesn’t care. It’s all just for you and your ego.
Babies don’t need hundreds of toys either. For the first 5 months they can’t even sit up, so how many Play Gyms and Cute Animal Hand and Feet puppets, or Play Nests do you need? Are you swapping out their play gyms every day and doing the whole ‘Use One Store One’ system? That’s not going to work if you live in a home with very little storage options. Babies really could care less about how much stuff they have. Just so long as what they have is kept clean and in good condition, it’s reusable until it’s grown out of.
I see baby items for sale every single time I go looking on FB market place for things or to the charity shop. There’s so much choice nowadays it’s mind blowing. But, your baby doesn’t need all of it. It’s not a competition to see who loves their baby more. What you need to think about is what the baby is going to need in order to grow. Instead of getting a £60 highchair and having to sell it when it’s outgrown, maybe buy an interchangeable highchair/table & chair combo, that your toddler can use once they’ve outgrown the highchair stage? Buggies are used for maybe 3 years. So if the second hand buggy isn’t that old, it’ll do just fine. Buggies are made to last several years (at least they were when my first born was small) buying a second hand buggy built in the 90’s probably won’t last you very long if it’s used daily. But buying one second hand that is 5+ years old will do you just fine. Disinfect it, wash the covers and straps and you’re good to go.
Car seats are a whole different kettle of fish. Always buy those new. People lie. I mean, if you really can’t afford new then buy second hand, but please get it checked over for any signs of an accident or something before you put your precious bundle in to it.
Just remember, it’s not a competition. Love is love regardless of what form it’s in. You don’t need to spend a fortune to love your child. Love is not measured in how many toys or clothes a child has. It’s measured by how you care for and raise your baby. Having to buy second hand goods does not make you bad at anything, parenting least of all. If anything buying second hand items makes you frugal and smart, it helps to reduce the amount of waste sent to landfill.
As long as the child has everything they need, a loving family and a decent clean warm home, everything else is immaterial.
The phrase Babies Only Need Love is true enough, if you listen to the real meaning.
Snowflake 2010’s – A derogatory slang term for a person, implying that they have an inflated sense of uniqueness, an unwarranted sense of entitlement, or are overly emotional, easily offended and unable to deal with opposing opinions.
I’m not talking about the pretty white ice patterns that fall from the sky, but the people who are labelled as Snowflakes because of their ability to be offended by everything.
I’m not sure if it’s my age, or my world weary-ness or what, but I just find the term pretty apt, really. People who are labelled as a snowflake are easily upset, easily offended and often younger than me.
‘Snowflakes’ weren’t really a big thing until the last few years. The term comes from the novel Fight Club written by Chuck Palahniuk in 1996. I think it fits particularly well. You instantly know what someone means when they use the term. Funnily enough, snowflakes are offended by being called snowflakes. Go figure.
I think, what people don’t understand, they should learn about, or leave alone. What seems to be happening is people are reading information that isn’t factually or scientifically correct, are then spreading what they think they know around, and when they’re called out on it, they’re offended. Offended because they know what they’re talking about, they read it somewhere (likely facebook) SO IT MUST BE CORRECT. So even if the person refuting their knowledge and trying to put them straight with the actual truth, is a bone fide expert on said subject, it doesn’t matter to this person. This person is an easily offended snowflake.
I read a long time ago now that Tv viewers who are just discovering Friends, are offended by the show. Are you freaking kidding me? This is just one example in the list, because I can’t remember the others. Certain TV shows like The Bill, London’s Burning, A Touch of Frost, Friends, and Allo Allo were written in the era where certain terms and situations were common place and normal every day occurrences.
David Jason in A Touch of Frost calling his new black Sergeant ‘My little black pig’ made me feel sick, but, that’s how it was then. The misogyny that is laughed at in Friends was normal when the show was written. The very bad German accents in Allo Allo were funny then, because nobody liked the Germans. What Snowflakes now don’t seem to understand is that the things they’re offended about in these shows is no longer acceptable on tv. Society has advanced so far that calling someone a ‘Little Black Pig’ in real life gets you into trouble for racism, let alone broadcasting it on tv!
My advice for the easily offended snowflakes of the world is this; Get a grip on yourself. Nobody cares what’s upset you today. You’re a laughing stock that people are tired of dealing with. Try putting some of your imagined offence anger towards things that should actually offend you, like starving children, or homeless people. Maybe you can actually do something good with that anger you so strongly feel at things that aren’t really things to be offended over?
Oh, and one more thing; a Fairy Take of New York isn’t offensive. You’ve just ruined a pretty amusing song with your stupidity.
llwinder. Writer Without a Clue. 