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Clothing; is it your choice, or is it just to fit in?

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You buy clothes as a necessity. It’s illegal to walk around naked, unless you are in the specifically allowed areas of the world where you can wander around in the buff. Some people like to be barefoot all of the time, I know I do, but it’s just not possible to carry out day to day life with no clothes on your birthday suit.

The clothes you choose to wear say a lot about who you are as a person and what your personality is like, to the outside world. People judge others by what they look like without even realising they are doing it. They might assume that someone who wears bright colours could be bubbly, happy, outgoing and friendly etc, while someone who wears black could be sombre, unhappy, introverted and standoffish.

I am friends with several bikers and the rep they get based on what they look like is grossly unfair. The biking community is full to the brim of the nicest people you will ever meet. Simply basing their character on their looks is narrow minded and ridiculous.

We’re not born to be the same, so why do we wear the same style of clothing? Currently mustard yellow is this seasons ‘must have.’ But why is it? it’s not even a nice colour, it never has been. Do people who wear this particular shade of yellow actually like it, or are they simply wearing it because it’s ‘in’? There’s only so many colours in the rainbow, so what happens when the fashion designers (and who made them all knowledgeable about fashion anyway?) run out of colours? Do they have a list, like maybe 1980 was illuminous green for summer but pastel pink was the autumn trend, 1981 was maybe yellow for summer and green for autumn? and then they go through the colour list one by year each year, and the designer is like;

”Stella, we can’t use khaki green this year because it was in the cammo range last year, AND in 2010, 2004 and 1996, dammit woman do you not know what this will do to the tiny fools who spend a fortune on fashion?’

Well they probably don’t sound like that, do they? But my point is, wear what you like, not what some famous stranger is telling you to wear.

There’s more problems in the world than what someone is wearing.

Why do women (mainly) wear the same items, or colour? For the last few weeks I have been paying attention to what the school run mums wear. I saw 4 women all wearing the exact same jumper, same colour, on the same day. Now, don’t get me wrong, I don’t follow fashion, I don’t understand it. But, if I was accidentally wearing the same outfit as another woman I was in the vicinity of, or working with, I’d be slightly mortified. Then I’d be like, ‘yeah, I wear it better.’

Why do people want to look the same as everyone else? Why pay £50 for a jumper that Sally, Vicky and Mandy down the road are also wearing, when you can go and buy anything you wanted instead?

I have a friend who wears name brand trainers exclusively.  He’d rather be dead than wear anything from Shoe Zone (sorry) or other such brands, when I asked him why he told me a story;

”As a kid my mother used to put me in charity shop clothing, but always decent trainers. She believed that the more they cost the better they were for your feet. She used to say ‘Your feet carry you for all of your life, so look after them.’ and so now I wear decent trainers, to look after my feet.”

His story makes perfect sense. His fashion choices stem from childhood and what he was taught growing up.

My fashion sense now is based around comfort, cost and colour, but when I was a child, my mother couldn’t afford clothing, let alone charity shop items. I wore hand-me-downs from my older female cousin, which were then passed to my sister. I had very little choice in what I wore up to the day I got a job and left home. Now my wardrobe is full of colour and black tones. I love my pretty spaghetti strap lacy black top as much as I love my cartoon script flared multicoloured top. The lack of choice as a child has shaped what I wear now, I simply don’t care. If I like it, I wear it. It’s me who is spending my money on it, me who is wearing it on my body, nobody else has to like it at all, and yes I shop in charity and buy new where I have to.

I recently acquired a boyfriend, (long story for another blog.) When I met him he looked very sexy dressed in black, cargo trousers, black t’shirt and a hoodie with skulls on it. He’s got visible tattoos on his neck & hands and piercings in his face, dark hair etc. I assumed that he was a metaller/rocker like myself. So when he opened the bag of clothes he’d brought to mine and I saw a lot of ‘not black’ I was a bit miffed and surprised. I was a tad dismayed to find out that he likes brightly coloured striped shirts, and has a two-tone purple/blue nylon shirt that the 80’s called to claim back. But, it’s his choice. He likes them so he wears them. I still fancy the pants off of him regardless of what he’s wearing. But it proves that you can’t judge a book by the cover. I made the silly assumption that because of what I saw that first time, that’s what he wears all the time. But, much like myself, he has a varied taste. Why wouldn’t he have?

There’s far too much clothing ending up in landfill as it is, not enough is recycled. Charity shops get the main bulk of it, but there’s stuff even they can’t sell. I know the vast majority of people believe (wrongly) that charity clothing is all old, outdated, dirty, smelly, tatty shit. That’s simply not true. I have worked in charity shops, I’ve seen all sides of the inner workings and the outside image they purvey. There’s rules and such that the staff and the organisations have to stick to regardless. Charity shops don’t have the means to wash anything. (They can steam certain items to freshen them up, get wrinkles out of silk blouses etc) but if they open a bag that’s got dirt or faeces in it, that whole bag goes straight into the bin. Charity shop workers are volunteers, they don’t get paid. Some of the staff may offer to wash items at home at an out of pocket cost, but it’s not a thing that is generally done. If there’s a £200 Lacoste jumper that’s needing a wash then it’ll get one, but a £10 pair of trousers, that’ll go in the bin.

Far too many people won’t shop charity nowadays for fear of bullying, or ridicule for wearing something that’s not ‘trendy.’ If you’re not wearing the same colour as the whole world that makes you a target for horrible things to happen. That’s outrageous. Why should we have to be a sheep, wear the same, be the same as everyone else to fit in, to not get ridiculed, or bullied, when we’re born to stand out?

We as a society should be praising the different, the alternative. We should be wanting to look like ourselves and not everyone else. I’m me, I’m not you or Janet, or Cindy or Joe Blogs down the road, so why on earth would I want to wear the same clothing as them?

Today you are you! That is truer than true! There is no one alive who is you-er than you! – Dr Suess.

 

 

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Memories.

I bet you that if I said ‘the seaside in summer’ your head will be filled with memories from childhood. Admittedly not everyone was lucky enough to go to the beach, or even to have a holiday. Maybe you live near the sea and spend all of your time there anyway so my memory hint will be pointless to you. My point is, I could say almost anything to you and it would jog something in your sub conscience to give you a memory.

I have ‘false memories’ pertaining from my childhood. Nobody knows where I have them from. Nobody I have spoken to knows what I am talking about, or even what a 6 year old brain might possibly have changed from real to fake. Usually when you speak to a child about things they remember you get a sense of what they are talking about, but if that child suffered severe trauma those memories are often wiped, or changed somehow. I don’t remember a lot of my childhood from age 6 to 12-13. There’s various vague snippets, but nothing really concise. The brain in a child is well documented to wipe or ‘store’ major trauma incidents to protect the child. It’s possible to get these memories back with therapy and hypnosis etc, but that’s not a road I can see many taking. I don’t blame them.

The sub conscious brain is a creature all too complicated to try to understand. It’s responsible for memory, actions, and thoughts amongst other things that the human brain can do. I get ‘feelings of memory’ in that I mean I’ll smell or hear something and in my SC mind I’m getting that it’s familiar, a memory is there that is relevant, but I just can’t pull it out. I can’t seem to bring it into the light to see it with my own eyes. My brain has pulled the curtains shut and is reluctant to open them, it’s instead giving me a peak here and there of what I have in my mind. I suppose I should be greatful that I don’t remember my trauma. I have paperwork that tells me what happened. That paperwork is just words on paper. There’s nothing in my brain to link it with my life and what happened to me, it could be about someone else, if it wasn’t about me. I have no pictures, or smells or anything in my SC mind that shows up as a film trailer when I read that paperwork. I’m not the only person who lives with this. Anyone who has suffered severe trauma at a young age has a similar condition.

I’m writing this blog because I was just using google maps to look up a place I need to visit, and one of the first pubs I went into is in this area. I was saddened to see it’s been demolished and is now a bloody car park. Then I tried to find where I lived in this area, and I can’t remember what the door to the building looked like. They’ve probably changed it by now, it was a very long time ago that I was there. The building itself will not have changed, maybe a coat of paint and new windows, but still there all the same. Indecently, when I got to this area, I tried to explain where something was to someone asking for directions, without knowing that the pub I had been referencing had also been demolished after a fire destroyed it, and it’s now a unit of flats.

When you reach a certain age your memory starts to fade. That’s just a fact of life. I’m 37 and already suffer from memory loss where past events are involved. The older the memory, the less you can remember of it. You may remember going to the beach on holiday, but you might have forgotten where that holiday was, or what beach you were on. My town has a number of beaches dotted along the coast line, so if I took my children to one of them and they made a memory there, one day they’ll recall that memory but place it on the main sands, rather than one of the smaller beaches. They’ll do that because we live in the area, and they know that there’s a main beach that most people go to, so it must have been there. They’ll recount the memory to me and I’ll remind them that it was in a different place. I might tell them other things that happened that day that they don’t remember at all, but I do.

My son has a very good memory, but he sucks at explaining what he is talking about most of the time. He can have several different conversations come out in one sentence, and make something that happened 2 years ago seem like it happened this morning. Or he’ll be randomly be talking about something that’s relevant to now, and go off about the car crash he saw a month ago. He struggles with differentiating between memory and current conversation. He won’t say ‘Oh that reminds me of this’ he’ll just start talking about it, like you know what he’s on about. You then have to work out what he means. Sometimes it’s easy, if you’ve seen what he’s talking about and can remind him when it happened, but if it’s something he saw on his kindle, or at school then you have no clue and no option but to just smile and nod, and try to explain to him that we have no idea what he’s talking about and he needs to use more words to tell us. It can be very frustrating.

On the other side of that, talking to someone who has memory loss is often heart breaking. I’m talking about Dementia and Alzheimer’s. My Grandfather had a series of strokes that left him in a dementia kind of state; he had no idea who anyone was outside of my Grandmother and Mother. I remember being told that my mother had shown my grandfather a picture of my newborn daughter and he looked at her, smiled, screwed the picture up and put it in his pocket. He had no memory of his granddaughter being pregnant and having a baby. It’s a sad memory. He died on Boxing day 2000, just 3 months after my daughter was born, he never met her.

Why do we remember the good and the bad? if the brain is capable of shutting out the trauma of severe incidents, why is it not able to let us forget the other sad things that happen, like my Grandfather’s illness? If my brain is capable of shutting out the major trauma I suffered, why does it leave me with enough memory to know it happened in the first place. Why not just erase that whole sad episode of my life, and leave me with the stark black and white of paper evidence and no real connection to events?

I’ve said frequently enough, why do we remember one thing but not another? Why do I remember a gorgeous long haired biker pissing up the side of the tent I was sitting in at a motorbike rally in 1997, the reactions of the people inside the tent and how hard he was laughing, but not what the first film I saw at the cinema was? You would think that something as momentous as the first ever cinema trip would be something to remember, yes? I have no recollection of that. I do, however, remember standing in my living room, on the phone to an Indian lady, asking her what films were currently showing at the cinema, and recounting what she said to my boyfriend who was sitting on the sofa, and when I raised my voice to get an answer from him she hung up. That’s what I remember when I’m asked what film I saw at the cinema the first time I went.

The Tellytubbies blessed our goggle boxes in 1997. How do I remember that? Well, when I was 16, I lived with my boyfriend in London. We were riding through a busy intersection on his motorbike late one evening when the lights on a billboard made me look at it. It was an advert for the tv show. It’s etched in my memory as if it happened yesterday. It came in handy last week at a pub quiz when I was the only person who knew the answer.

Taking a trip down memory lane can be fascinating. It can remind you of long forgotten memories of loved ones, tough times and friendships past and present. Photo albums are great at bringing memories to life like a picture book of the mind. All of my photo albums are stored in my loft. Pictures tend to be kept on mobile devices nowadays, which in itself I think is a very stupid idea. I see a lot of stolen phone posts begging for the return because of sentimental value for the pictures stored on it. If those pictures were so precious, why did you not save them elsewhere, or PRINT THEM OFF! because, like what happened to us, the device could be stolen, or corrupted, damaged or broken beyond salvage and then what will you do? When my husbands computer started to fail one of the first things he did was back up all of his pictures to our friends external hard drive. Unfortunately, that hard drive became corrupted and none of the data stored on it was saved. All of the baby pictures I took of our youngest when he was very sick in hospital were lost. There were pregnancy pictures, family gatherings etc, all gone. So, just to clarify, if you have sentimental, irreplaceable pictures stored on your phone, laptop or external hard drive, go and get them printed. The cost is immaterial when you compare it to not having those pictures.

Memories pop up when you least expect them. I’m currently sitting in MacDonalds in my home town, writing this. My brother-from-another-mother used to work here way back when I was in my very early teens. I worked here for about 2 weeks. It’s had a face-lift, but is essentially the same place I remember from my childhood. i met my eldest child’s father outside of here way back in 1999. I saw him yesterday, he told me about things that I had forgotten from when we lived together. He reminded me about someone I had long forgotten about, whose face I can’t recall and I wouldn’t recognise him if he sat next to me. I doubt he would know me either.

A friend of mine told me a story he remembers from when he was 9. He’s been an F1 fan since he was 2. He wanted to become a formula one driver when he grew up. It was a massive part of his life up to the age of 9, when disaster struck. He had to go for an ECG, which in turn lead to another test, which lead to the discovery that he is Epileptic. Therefore, unable to drive an F1 car. He is still a big fan of F1, I don’t think that will ever change. He told me how devastated he was when his parents broke the news to him. The look on his face as he told me this, well, have you ever seen a grown man almost in tears? It’s not a pretty sight.

Memory prompts;

What colour was your first pet?

Were your childhood wellington boots red, blue?

What did you want to be when you grew up?

Did you have a favourite cartoon?

Where did you get the inspiration for your children’s names from?

How old were you the first time you ate in a restaurant?

Please drop me a message, or comment with your answers. I am genuinely interested to read your replies.

 

 

 

Wonky veg; what’s the hype about?

I’d quickly like to ask all the more prominent supermarket companies why they think that selling wonky veg is such a big deal?

Wonky, misshapen, humorous, and weird looking veg has been around since vegetable growing began. It all started in around 10,000 BC, or something like that. It started with poor families having to grow food from seeds to feed their own families, and farmers producing field grown food for sale. Do you think they cared about what their food looked like? It’s not like they had the privilege of deciding that the double headed cabbage wasn’t for consuming, and left it to rot. It all got eaten, all of it, because it’s vegetables.

I wasn’t even aware that the less desirable looking veg wasn’t packaged for sale. I grew up thinking that veg all looked perfect, and to get the weird and wonderful ones that you see in pictures you needed to grow them at home. It wasn’t until I looked into the subject a bit further that I learned that factories were hiring people to stand and watch the veg going through the machines, and pick out the undesirables. I mean, who wants to do that as a job? I worked in a potato factory in my late teens and sorted the mouldy/green ones from the fresh, and ended up with a motion sickness type illness that meant I couldn’t go back. I know, it’s a job. But a job that makes you ill is not a job you should be doing.

Advertising wonky veg, like it’s some kind of a big deal, freaky thing, and charging more for it than you would the ‘normal’ looking vegetables is as ridiculous as it sounds. People who wear alternative clothing aren’t charged more for bills, or their shopping.

Why would you pay more for alternative veg? If anyone is jumping on this band wagon, then they have more money than sense. If we all decided that this was ridiculous and didn’t buy into it, what would happen with all of the wonky veg then? would it go back to the rotten pile, or for animal feed again? or would it end up packaged as veg, like it’s supposed to be.

 

 

How do you run a house?

The way we run our homes differs from person to person. If we are lucky enough to have parents who teach us how to do the housework, we usually learn from them how a house is run at the same time. Most parents don’t involve their kids in the financial side of the house, but sometimes that’s necessary. I never learned how to pay bills or do the weekly shopping on a budget, I just remember having to carry those heavy bags home because we couldn’t afford taxis.

I never really learned how to run a house, keep all the areas clean, how many times a day I should hoover, or wash up. I just do it when it needs to be done. Sometimes it sits there for a day. My house is not spotless. My husband calls it ‘lived in.’ We have children and I am not the type of parent who goes around with a broom cleaning up after every single thing they do. I have started teaching them to clean up their own mess. If they spill a drink they wipe it up.

I know people who have perfect condition show homes, no mess anywhere, kick boards and cupboards in perfectly clean show-home condition through out. I wonder if they have time to go to the toilet, or sit down with a book if they have a home that is so perfectly clean. How do they have time to do anything but housework everyday? I imagine them waking up at 6am and showering, dressing, eating and then donning the rubber gloves and scrubbing, hoovering, sweeping, mopping, trimming, wiping, washing and weeding non stop until lunch, where they give themselves half hour (or maybe they eat while they work?) and then carrying on with cleaning until dinner. I don’t see those types of people sitting down unless they go to the toilet or eat. I imagine them saying things like ”I’m very sorry Susan I can’t come to lunch with you today, the pipes behind my toilet are a shocking mess and I need to spend an hour cleaning them.”

My kick-boards are grubby, the inside of my cupboards haven’t been wiped over in months let alone scrubbed and my garden is in desperate need of some TLC. But I’m having to much fun playing with my kids, going out for the day, playing games and watching films with my family to worry about weather I dusted the windowsill at the top of the stairs, or if the laundry is folded and put away the instant it’s dry. My house has dusty toilet pipes, and water marks on the windowsills. Its garden is a bit overgrown simply because it’s been far to hot to be outside weeding. I’m not going to make myself sick for the sake of gardening.

I go to these peoples houses and I’m afraid to touch anything or do anything in them. I spilled my drink on the carpet, panic! Normally I’d grab a tea-towel and scrub it up, but in somebody else spotless home what do I do? Get out the hoover and the stain remover and spend an hour on my knees scrubbing and washing the stain out? Is there a special way I am not in the knowledge of because of the way I do it at home?

I’m going to stay at my mothers in a few weeks, with my son. We wear shoes in the house, we don’t always make sure the rubbish is in the bin, when we aim and throw it (but it is put in the bin.) We can’t do that in my mothers home, and my son is going to struggle with that concept.

Maybe we should have been better house keepers, taught our kids how to run a house to a higher standard. But honestly, this is our house. It’s how we live. It’s not a hoarders paradise, it’s not covered in dirty plates, old food and rubbish covered floors. The door frames might have small grubby hand marks on them almost all of the time, but the floors are cleaned daily, the washing up is done once a day, and the laundry, that’s washed and dried, but not necessarily put away on the same day. The rest of it, well, it can wait.

Dilema

In February I did some things that lost me a lot of good friends. I am not welcome anywhere that these people are. I am not invited out to anything. One of those people was/is the CEO of a writers group I am a member of. Last year our writers group held a BBQ to drum up some new members, gain some pennies for the charity associated with us etc. It was a success. Because of the current situation, I can’t host that this year.

The BBQ is being held at another members house. I have been invited. I’m invited because I am still a member of the writers group. But, I can’t go. I’m not going because I haven’t been to a single writers group meeting since February. A few of the people going don’t even want to see me, let alone have to be polite to me.

I’d cause more issues than is necessary if I go.

On the other hand, I am still a member. I have been invited to this BBQ. It’s an opportunity to apologise, which is something I find very difficult to do. But I don’t think it’ll go down very well at this event as it’s supposed to be a party. I won’t get another chance any time soon because as I have said, I am not welcome anywhere.

What do I do?

When did manners become a thing of the past?

I’m not a stick in the mud. I’m not a grouch, or lacking in fun in my life. But what I am is polite. Something that annoys me, is lack of manners. Not just the random sorry if you accidentally bump someone, or you’re in the way or such. I mean proper old fashioned manners.

By that term I mean;

Sitting up at the table, not slouching.

Saying please and thank you, where necessary, all the time.

No grabbing other peoples belongings.

Asking politely for things, not demanding or shouting ‘I want.’

Waiting patiently, not barging in or yelling for service.

Obviously there are others, but these are the ones that I am teaching my children. It appears that I am in the minority of parents who believe that teaching a child how to behave is part of learning how to be a decent adult.

I am a very firm believer that if children are taught something from a very early age, that by the time they are adults, not doing it is out of the question. Like dropping litter, spitting, fighting, swearing and bullying, for example.

Today I took my children to a local pub to play. This pub has a garden and play equipment, so my children were in and out and I was keeping an eye on them, while I wrote.

When I saw other children bullying mine initially I didn’t know how to deal with it. I have always said to my kids, if someone is being mean to you, you come and find me, tell me and I’ll deal with it. They didn’t. When I saw my youngest child, who is 6 and very sensitive, have his hat ripped from his head and the boy run off with it, I took action. It became clear to me that this boy had never been told off before, judging by the shocked look on his face when I walked over, told him his behaviour was unacceptable and asked him where his parents were.

I got the typical response of ‘he was kicking me’ which I didn’t see in the seconds before the older boy snatched my sons hat. But it needed to be dealt with, because if both boys were bullying each other then it needed to be stopped. I took my son and the boy over to his parents and said that I believed they’d been fighting, all I saw was your boy take the hat away and throw it, but it needed to be sorted because bullying is wrong. They laughed.

I said how about we give them a 6 minute time out, 1 minute per year of age, and let them play again. The response I got was thus ‘6 minutes. That’s a bit much.’ They all laughed.

No, it’s not a bit much. ‘He’s 6.’ I said. ‘How old is your boy?’ They laughed again. The man/father said ‘How about I keep him here with me?’ to which I said I would keep mine with me for 6 minutes. When I looked, the boy was back playing. No punishment given.

Now, please do correct me if I’m wrong, but how in the world is this kid going to learn that treating smaller people like that is wrong if he’s not disciplined when he’s being naughty?

If we as parents do not teach our children how to behave, and lead by example, they will grow up to be nasty adults. I see it every day, some little mouthy kid swearing at his parents, or screaming abuse at others in the street, fighting with everyone and stealing from the shops. It’s downright disgusting that the parents of these children either don’t know what their kids are up too, or don’t care, or are the reason their offspring’s behaviour is like that in the first place.

I’m often left astonished by some of the parenting that I see. Since when did screaming swear words, calling your kid names and such become part of the parenting handbook? Children who are spoken to and treated like that will grow up to be adults who treat their peers the same way.

It carries on for generations. The reason this country is going to shit is because of the way in which we treat things and possessions better than we treat humans. Even dogs are often treated better than people.

Children’s behaviour is getting worse because parenting is getting worse. The ‘powers’ that parents did have has been stripped away by laws and agencies. It’s now illegal to physically chastise your children. Since when did a slap on the backside cause harm to a child when they did something in need of discipline? At least that way they learned that if they stole, or were rude, or broke the law they would be taught a lesson. Now though, all you hear is shouting, screaming and swearing and the kids are still doing whatever they want anyway.

Society won’t recover from this unless parents start to discipline their children and teach them right from wrong every day, from an early age.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Should making false rape allegations send you to prison?

stock-photo-uk-police-vehicles-at-the-scene-of-a-public-disturbance-10549111

The subject of false rape allegations has sparked a lot of debate for a long time. But what I just don’t understand is why someone would think the answer to the question is no.

The answer, in my opinion, is obviously yes. Throw the book at them. Lock that cell door and never look back.

Let me explain why I believe that this is the only right answer.

Rape is a very serious crime. That is obvious to everybody. Rapists are the scum on pond scum. They don’t deserve any kind of decent treatment, no basic human rights should be available to them, when they took away the basic human rights of their victim.

I believe that 98% of women who report a sexual attack are absolutely genuine. Each and every case reported deserves the utmost respect and care possible to find out the truth, and to be able to deal with the attacker appropriately. Being raped is a major trauma. It can take decades to deal with, some victims commit suicide. The survivor needs all of the support available to carry on with their lives. It’s not an easy case to investigate, and it’s not easy to live with afterwards. The amount of manpower, investigative work and stress that a case like this causes the police, and victim, is hard to imagine. I don’t believe that any police officer, medical examiner, forensic person or doctor actually likes and wants to deal with these types of cases. Genuine victims require special care and treatment. Forensics are involved. People don’t seem to realise that it takes money to investigate crimes. It costs a lot of money to investigate these crimes.

Innocent until proven guilty is the common phrase thrown around wildly. If you have been accused of doing anything at all that you didn’t actually do, how did you prove that you didn’t do it? Did the perpetrator own up, or was it another way? The problem with being accused of rape right now is that the accused is not anonymous. Everyone will know who they are, and everyone will have their own views on the crime that the person has been accused of. You often hear people say things like ‘There must be truth to it somewhere or why was he arrested?’ The answer is quite simple, really; because he was accused of rape. That’s it. The police don’t get the report, sit with their coffee and donuts looking at said report wondering if they should go and arrest the guy or not. They don’t think ‘Oh, maybe he didn’t do it and we’re wasting our time’ If a woman reports that she has been raped and who it was, the police will go and arrest that person. It’s that simple. It doesn’t even matter where the perpetrator is, work, school, shopping or gym. The police will arrest them under suspicion of rape in front of those around him.

If a woman is lying about being raped, she is basically saying that she doesn’t care about the other women who have been in her shoes, nor does she care about the family and lives of the man she accuses, she doesn’t care about wasting police time, costing money that could be used to investigate an actual rape case. The lying woman is only interested in her own needs at that precise moment. People who are accused of serious crimes, like rape, have their lives turned upside down. They lose their jobs, their families, their homes and can no longer leave their home, (if they aren’t in jail) for fear of attack from the public. The majority of people who are accused of these horrendous crimes go on to commit suicide, weather they are guilty or not.

If the person is falsely accused, they are still subjected to this nightmare life, and for no reason. The saying ‘mud sticks’ is very true. We all know how sticky wet mud is, how it gets everywhere (gossip) is easily spread about (rumours) and how nasty it can be to be accused of doing vile things to another human, when you are indeed innocent.

The woman who decides that she is going to start lying about being raped at the present moment gets away with doing so. There are no charges brought against them. But the man who is accused is punished for the rest of his life for nothing. Every criminal record check that this guy has to go through for work, or to gain a visa etc will show suspicion of assault on his record. But the woman doesn’t have a criminal record that says she falsely accused a man of rape. She doesn’t have anything in her history that says she’s unstable, or a risk to others.

These types of women think that they’ll be forgiven for cheating in their current relationship, or they may regret a one night stand, or go on national tv and start adding random things to their story to gain more sympathy. I have no idea why this sounds like a good idea to these particular women, but it happens.

It’s a criminal offence to cause harm to others. Falsely accusing someone of rape, and turning their lives upside down, is causing someone undue harm. Therefore it should be punishable by law. Simply being accused of doing something like this is enough to ruin lives, even if you are found to be innocent. So, in my book, the woman who lied and turned her innocent victims life upside down should also be dealt the same hand. She’s caused unnecessary harm to an innocent person, it’s illegal to hurt others, therefore she should be punished by the law.

This is why my answer to this question is a resounding, and very loudly yelled, YES!

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