The (Unnecessary) Expense of Babies.

‘Babies only need love’

That’s something you’ll hear people say on occasion when you’re pregnant. It’s mostly true, if you look into the actual meaning of the phrase.

Most people assume that it means that you don’t need to pay bills, buy food or clothes or rent etc, and there’s a few arguments I’ve seen online of people trying to explain it to those who are assuming wrongly. Either that or they’re taking it literally and not seeing the bigger picture.

Here’s my take on The Unnecessary Expense of Babies, and Babies only need love.

Babies do indeed need love. All people the world over need love. It helps you to grow, be a good person, do good things. Babies especially need love because they’re helpless. That tiny little human being needs to be loved and cared for and nurtured, otherwise it will die, basically. Babies can’t look after themselves, obviously. They’re completely and utterly dependent on their parents’ love for them, for their well being. But, there’s love and then there’s throwing money in the form of love.

Babies do not need hundreds or thousands of pounds worth of stuff. They don’t need £600 cots, and Gap baby grows, or the latest model pram. That’s just for the parent’s to say look how much I love my child. You don’t love your child any less if you’re buying charity shop baby grows at 3 for £1, or a second hand buggy system from the local British Red Cross shop (other shops available)

Babies do not need organic or expensive baby food. They’re perfectly happy with jarred food, packet food, or home made mash and yogurts or pureed food from what you’re already cooking for dinner. That tiny person is just happy to be fed what it needs to live. It’s not a stroppy teenager who is refusing to eat dinner because it’s not organically harvested beef and £10 a bag of carrots from Harrods (you know exactly what I mean.)

Babies do not need Prada dresses, or Gucci tracksuits or Nike trainers. They grow so fast they’ll maybe wear it once before it’s outgrown. Then you’ve spent likely £100+ on something that you have to then either decide to keep (storage?) or try to sell and nobody is going to pay you what you originally bought it for, so you have to take a loss. Is it worth it? Probably not. The baby doesn’t care. It’s all just for you and your ego.

Babies don’t need hundreds of toys either. For the first 5 months they can’t even sit up, so how many Play Gyms and Cute Animal Hand and Feet puppets, or Play Nests do you need? Are you swapping out their play gyms every day and doing the whole ‘Use One Store One’ system? That’s not going to work if you live in a home with very little storage options. Babies really could care less about how much stuff they have. Just so long as what they have is kept clean and in good condition, it’s reusable until it’s grown out of.

I see baby items for sale every single time I go looking on FB market place for things or to the charity shop. There’s so much choice nowadays it’s mind blowing. But, your baby doesn’t need all of it. It’s not a competition to see who loves their baby more. What you need to think about is what the baby is going to need in order to grow. Instead of getting a £60 highchair and having to sell it when it’s outgrown, maybe buy an interchangeable highchair/table & chair combo, that your toddler can use once they’ve outgrown the highchair stage? Buggies are used for maybe 3 years. So if the second hand buggy isn’t that old, it’ll do just fine. Buggies are made to last several years (at least they were when my first born was small) buying a second hand buggy built in the 90’s probably won’t last you very long if it’s used daily. But buying one second hand that is 5+ years old will do you just fine. Disinfect it, wash the covers and straps and you’re good to go.

Car seats are a whole different kettle of fish. Always buy those new. People lie. I mean, if you really can’t afford new then buy second hand, but please get it checked over for any signs of an accident or something before you put your precious bundle in to it.

Just remember, it’s not a competition. Love is love regardless of what form it’s in. You don’t need to spend a fortune to love your child. Love is not measured in how many toys or clothes a child has. It’s measured by how you care for and raise your baby. Having to buy second hand goods does not make you bad at anything, parenting least of all. If anything buying second hand items makes you frugal and smart, it helps to reduce the amount of waste sent to landfill.

As long as the child has everything they need, a loving family and a decent clean warm home, everything else is immaterial.

The phrase Babies Only Need Love is true enough, if you listen to the real meaning.